My review of Americana

Plot

5 chapters revolving around a $1,000,000 Lakota ghost shirt with local outsiders & outcasts. Involving but not limited to a son his mother & her B/F (Gavin Maddox Bergman, Halsey & Eric Dane) & Military vet Lefty Ledbetter & waitress Penny Jo Poplin (Paul Walter Hauser & Sydney Sweeney.)

pros

Is quite funny at times (a native American indian trying to argue with a kid is hilarious.)

Halsey is the star of the movie for me

Paul Walter Hauser & Sydney im on the fence about

i like the chapter format Weapons has made me a fan of this format for the most part.

the setting of South Dakota & Wyoming is perfect for the movie

Script is good in places

Shoot out 40odd minutes from the end isnt bad although its made better by the fact arrows move like a whisper in the wind

soundtrack is good

Cons

it will forever be known as the movie that bombed because of Sydney Sweeney's American Eagle controversy. which isnt what you want your movie to be known by

The "iam the reincarnation of Sitting Bull" gets old very quickly.

as soon as Halsey leaves Eric Dane the movie goes from good to barely watchable

Script is shit in places

not every chapter is the same time which isnt great

ive seen many different movies where everyone is after 1 item, this isnt even in my top 10.

Verdict

Not the best western i've seen compared to say Unforgiven or Magnificent 7 new one not the older one. But it didnt deserve to bomb & i think it is better then the reputation it has but once is enough for me with this.

"around $500K" Y N N N/A shame (but Halsey makes it disclaim) ok

multiple choice                     

Budget vs Box Office            "around $500K"

Worth a watch?                     i did say yes but at the time maybe is more suffice

Does it have Repeatability?  Nope

Sequel?                                  if there is i wont be watching it unless Halsey is in it

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                     Shame but because of Halsey it goes Lame

My final Verdict?                   it's erm ok     

My review of The Killer

Plot

Zee (Natalie Emmanuel) is a contract killer who dresses more fashionable then average person in fashion & works for Finn (Sam Worthington) who works for drug lord Jules Gobert (Eric Cantona.) On her job in Marseilles. she shoots & stabs everything in the club except singer Jenn Clark (Diana Silvers) which breaks the "kill everyone in the club" rule even if she is blind. so Finn orders her to set things right which doesn't happen now she is pursued by Finn and everyone in that organisation & French Inspector Sey (Omar Sy.)

pros

its set in paris so at least we get a great city which has been used for great movies like Inception & Ronin.

Brian Helgeland has written the screenplay who also wrote Mystic River & LA Confidential so you have someone reliable.

This is Natalie Emmanuel's audition for the action world which she passes with flying colours

it's always great to see the late great Tchéky Karyo in any role & he is here playing Zee's Tailor.

Do like the camera work & how it cuts from scene to scene.

btw the fashion in this movie is great as well as the places in a outfit/dress you can hide a sword.

cons

it's based on the 1989 movie The Killer which also was directed by John Woo & starred Chow Yun-Fat. i havent seen it but remakes of asian movies never go well i dont need to say it history says it with the exception of The Departed which is a remake of Internal Affairs which is a masterpiece.

from a John Woo movie you expect more then you get here especially since John Wick upped the bar for movies of this sort

i cannot take Eric Cantona as a villian in this particularly after all the football ads i remember him in "Au Revoir" raises his collar shoots a shot at a goal that goes through the Devil keeper's chest there was more intent & villainy in that advert then there is of him in this movie.

its uneven in its pacing

no proper development of anyone

its too long at 2 hours 5

there is alot wrong with it minus the above but John Woo should be associated with classics not trying to outdo his original movies. please god do not do a face-off remake please god no

verdict

would i give this up for Hard Target, Broken Arrow, Face/Off, Mission: Impossible 2 or Paycheck for. but it does answer an important question. Is Natalie Emmanuel lead potential which is a big yes.

BO $318K Yes just for Natalie Emmanuel N N N/A shame but Natalie makes it lame Trial watch

multiple choice                     

Budget vs Box Office            BO $318K

Worth a watch?                     Yes just for Natalie Emmanuel

Does it have Repeatability?  Nope

Sequel?                                  me personally no, knowing Netflix they would

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                      Shame but Natalie makes it lame

My final Verdict?                    Trial watch   

Plot

Millie Watson & Tim Brassington (real life couple Alison Brie & Dave Franco) take a hike near their home & after falling down into a cave. they camp for the night. however the next morning when they wake up. they realise something horrifying has happened.

pros

so let me start with the leads the real life couple of Dave Franco & Alison Brie. absolutely superb in every aspect, cannot praise them enough.

Michael Shanks in his directing debut does a bang up job with his direction while making sure the relationship between Brie & Franco isnt the see all end all.

shows how relationships could be as a guy who's been on the end of some of the things in the film i can relate.

the dragging of the bodies at night (or in Alison's case the Bray Wyatt Spider walk) is absolutely terrifying as well as the attraction to them every time they are near each other as the movie goes on.

definitely 1 part in particular is very cringeworthy for the gents

the cgi i hate but it is necessary for the end

cons

the cgi kills all the momentum and makes it very anti climatic

the horror part is all small with nothing like to take it to that next level

everything is very slow some horror is always going fast from one to another this is just too slow you just want it to carry on and on

verdict Brie & Franco make this movie worth while. Its a beginners for body horror cause its not as graphic as the Substance but it has its moments. PS the substance which i think is brilliant so worth a watch definitely.

multiple choice                    

Budget vs Box Office            N/A>$34.5m

Worth a watch?                      Yes if you dont like body horror

Does it have Repeatability?  Depends on the point of view

Sequel?                                  Not sure how unless someone has 1 of those brilliant ideas

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                     Fame

My final Verdict?                   Worth a watch    

My review of The Bluff

The Bluff

Streaming Y as part of a Priyanka Chopra Marathon yes otherwise no Maybe N/A a mixture of good and lame so Disclaim worth a watch

Plot

the year is 1846, out of the game pirate Ercell Bodden (Priyanka Chopra Jonas) lives on a remote island with her family. when 1 day Captain Connor (Karl Urban) who harbours a grudge against her decides to pay her a visit. unfortunately the visit isnt as easy as he hoped it would be

Pro

Priyanka Chopra leads well as does Karl Urban do better with Villain material then he did in chronicles of Riddick.

action a plenty as you expect by the Russo brothers

plenty of blood and the cannon through the chest is a nice touch

Temuera Morrison is solid as Connor's second in command Q

cons

Nothing really is asked of the leads to go overboard with

too many guns used not enough sword fights

some questionable intelligence as per usual

There are better pirate movies out there POTC COTBP for a start

its a pirate movie so there isnt really much you can do in terms of what you can do. All pirate movies are the same 2 parties fighting over treasure which is exactly what this is only more bloody

I love Priyanka i really do but why when i watched this do i get Citadel vibes which aside from the setting & some details is practically the same thing.

the trailer makes it out to be better then it actually is

Verdict nowhere near as good as Curse of the Black Pearl. but worth a watch at least albeit once

multiple choice                     

Budget vs Box Office            Amazon Release

Worth a watch?                     Yes

Does it have Repeatability?  as part of a Priyanka Chopra-Jonas marathon yes aside that no

Sequel?                                  Depends on Amazon, me personally not at all bothered

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                     A mixture of Lame & Fame so Disclaim for a nice compromise

My final Verdict?                   Worth a watch      

My review of Relay

Plot

In New York City Ash (Riz Ahmed) is a fixer a guy who mediates between companies & the whistleblowers out to expose them. his latest whistleblower is Sarah (Lily James) who has damning evidence on Cybo Sementis Research Institutes, who's Genetically modified wheat has side effects. unfortunately for them both they are pursued by a counterintelligence team led by Dawson (Sam Worthington)

pros

im not too familiar with Riz Ahmed aside from Venom but its a nice change to see him take the lead & show another side of himself with this  same goes with the ever dependable Lily James.

i like how the broker is a chameleon & is more wiswer

having a broker engage a cilent through the tri-state relay service for the deaf is just brilliant particularly as no calls are recorded. which helps add abit of an extra dimension

the whole cat & mouse game at 2 airports is brillaint at it smartly keeps both the characters & the audience guessing. as a result its alot smarter then alot of similar movies

Was featured on the 2019 "Black List" of most-liked unproduced screenplays

cons

It is let down by the so obvious that Lily James's Sarah isnt all she makes out to be at least to someone whos seen enough movies to know better. the poking the prodding the trying to get to know him.

Sure there is more but thats all i got

verdict

its surprising and it is a good watch but dont expect oscar level anything.

multiple choice                     

Budget vs Box Office            Box office $4m

Worth a watch?                     Yes

Does it have Repeatability?  It might

Sequel?                                  if there was one i'd wouldnt say no

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                      Fame

My final Verdict?                   Good    

My review of Afterburn

Plot

6 years after Europe is devastated by a Solar Flare (stone age) treasure hunter Jake (Dave Bautista) works for self proclaimed King of England August Valentine (Sam L Jackson), if Jake goes to Paris & gets the Mona Lisa. August will let him sail into retirement.

pros

Dave Bautista is in this thats it

Cons

Spent 6 years in developmental hell among other things

Sam Jackson isnt at his finest neither is anyone else

better action movies

better apocalypse movies

better movies period

verdict

Just avoid, some say its average i say it's barely below trashly shit

multiple choice                     

Budget vs Box Office            $56.7m>$832K

Worth a watch?                     Absolutely not

Does it have Repeatability?  not unless you want to go all crossed eye

Sequel?                                  hope no

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                     Shame/On the outskirts on Incinerator

My final Verdict?                  Really Bad     

My review of Apex

plot

Climbing the troll wall in Norway Sasha (Charlize Theron) has to make an impossible decision where she lets her husband Tommy (Eric Bana) fall to his death. 5 months later & still grieving. she heads to Wandarra national park in Australia's outback. unfortunately for her. she is then visited by the guy she met before she went in Wandarra Ben (Taron Egerton) who plays a song on his beetbox then when that song finishes he will hunt her.

pros

Acting is decent but not exactly oscar winning stuff from either & Charlize has an Oscar.

Although big respect to Charlize for doing everything especially the promo in times square she did for the movie.

locations in Australia are just gorgeous

cons

Too many plotholes like why do you leave your main bag, which has your mobile outside

too many dumbass moments we like our movies to have a degree of intelligence in them, this feels like when they decided to write this it was how many times can we just repulse the audience?

The ending mirrors the beginning. loses her husband on a mountain redeems herself by climbing up a mountain .

and when the dumbass moments build up that is when you start to lose interest or care for Sasha.

Its a plot that been reused so many times i didnt really want to watch it to begin with. But someone who shall remain nameless Steve. recommended it and oh boy he owes me for this.

barely any script or decent dialogue

visual effects are shit

heard better soundtracks

Eric Bana for me is still prime acting real estate. why limit him to a cameo hell he couldve played the villian. he was Mark "chopper" Read ffs.

i had enough as soon as she was in the bear trap tbh

It's based on an Richard Connell's 1924 short story "The Most Dangerous Game". fun fact. there is a 1993 movie called Hard Target starring Jean Claude Van Damme, Lance "Bishop" Henrikson & Arnold "Imotep" Vosloo. which is better, more violent, more entertaining & just generally better in everyway then this & guess what also based on that short story.

If you want a movie like Apex theres Sly's Cliffhanger or theres Vertical limit with Chris O'Donnell. both are better then this.

there is more but so annoyed at this movie

Also if you want to experience half decent to decent movies of Baltasar Kormákur. try Contraband, 2 Guns or Everest. This feels like it was this or bust for him.

verdict

this is the action version of Emilia Perez also a Netflix movie so fire up the incinerator & pass me the film reel, im gonna enjoy burning this so much.

Multiple choice

Budget vs Box Office            

Worth a watch?                     Steve would say Yes i would say save your sanity

Does it have Repeatabiity?  only of reguritation

Sequel?                                 Nope

Podcast Movie Hall?            N/A

My Movie Hall?                     Incinerator       

My final Verdict?                  What's worse then colossally bad?

My review of Shadow Force

Plot

a couple who arent exactly a couple anymore Kyrah Owens & Isaac Sarr (Kerry Washington & Omar Sy) who happen to be highly trained Assassins formerly in a group called Shadowforce under the watch eye of CIA agent Jack Cinder (Mark Strong.) until they left when Kyrah found out she was pregnant. well unfortunately for them, noone ever leaves Shadowforce if they do a bounty is placed on their heads. so guess what their former team mates are gonna collect.

Honestly there is nothing enjoyable about it

i love Kerry Washington but its like why is she doing this movie?

i dont buy Omar Sy

Mark Strong is one of the best villains in recent movie history yet why is he wasting his time with a movie that litterally could be more but is just an inferior copy of John Wick meets the Bourne Identity.

the writing is just Ludacris

it has no engagement

the casting bar Mark Strong is stupid

Verdict just stay away from it please.

.

Multiple choice

Budget vs Box Office            $40m>$5.3m

Worth a watch?                     if you like hearing childbirth then yes its for you

Does it have Repeatability? erm gee let me think erm no

Sequel?                                  No

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                      Incinerator      

My final Verdict?                    whats worse then colossally bad

Rebel Ridge

My review of Rebel Ridge

Plot

So a guy who's going to pay his cousins bail is ran over by cops who abuse their positions to seize his money while using a law called civil forfeiture (assets can be seized from people who are suspected of involvement with crime or illegal activity without necessarily charging the owners with wrongdoing.) what follows is one mans crusade for justice & vengeance.

Pros

Aaron Pierre holds his own against the acting heavyweights like Don Johnson & David Denham, plays his character with conviction, relatability, great one liners and those eyes. ladies must be going mad for him.

Don is a great villian  ive not really seen him in bad guy roles. Don's character is a master manipulator and leads the troops. he has abit of compassion but only after it goes bad.

this is essentially a movie that can happen in real life, using a real life law that affects Americans every day i can safely say is brilliant. as is a motive caused by the economy of the place its set.

the movie is essentially what if someone who is another version of a John Wick didnt kill anyone but used non lethal means to subdue his enemies.

a few twists none that really surprise me.

Cons,

not much else stands out acting wise youre either in on it or youre against them. not much room for anything else

it is weird that Terry's cousin died and he doesnt want to do anything until Summer is drugged.

The action doesnt really start until the last 45 minutes, the rest is just psychological warfare

too much misdirection to the point you can kinda guess where the next scene is going and how its going to go

Honestly the trailer made me excited to watch it but it isnt as action packed as i thought it would be given i thought it would be another version of John Wick.

verdict

its not a bad movie but for me its not what i was expecting. youd only want to watch this if you want to see Arron Pierre before he stars in Lanterns as Jon Stewart. otherwise there is others to watch.

Budget vs Box Office            Netflix release

Worth a watch?                     Just once is enough

Does it have Repeatability?  ish ish

Sequel?                                  Doesn't need it but when does that stop anyone?

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                     Disclaim

My final Verdict?                   Worth a watch but dont fret if you watch something else

Hunting Season

My review of Hunting Season

plot

Bowdrie "Bo" (Mel Gibson) lives off grid in the woods of Oklahoma with his daughter Tag (Sofia Hublitz) 1 day Tag finds a very badly beaten girl called January. who is beaten by "the Brotherhood cartel" which has ties to a very bad man called Ajelandro (Jordi Molla)

Pros

its a decent movie

Mel Gibson while not as Porter as he can be is still good in the role of a father caught in a bad situation honestly he is the only reason you'd watch this movie well maybe Jordi Molla too

Jordi Molla eclipses Johnny Tapia from Bad Boys 2 with someone who gives Anton Chigurh a run for his money

big shoutout to Oliver Trevena who is just a brilliant psycho to the point i was worried

there is genuine tension in the movie throughout

the last 50 minutes are worth the watch

do love the fact that Mel Gibson is unhinged in alot of this

cons

i dont think i'll go "he was better then that one or that one"

it doesnt push the envelope so to speak

it is slow which seems to be a habit in movies recently

If Mel Gibson wasnt in this movie im not sure it would do well or anyone would care

script isnt genre breaking

verdict

light a fire grab a beer or wine and sit on a couch Movie night is here for you

multiple choice

Budget vs Box Office            BO $59,420

Worth a watch?                      Just once

Does it have Repeatability?   i wouldnt but some might

Sequel?                                  No

Podcast Movie Hall?             N/A

My Movie Hall?                     Fame       

My final Verdict?                  Good

My review of Sinners

Plot

Clarksdale Mississippi 1932, war veterans & identical twins Elijah "Smoke" and Elias "Stack" Moore (Michael B Jordan) return from Chicago, buy a sawmill & turn it into a juke house or Barrelhouse. All the while something sinister is on the horizon & i dont mean Stack's ex girlfriend Mary (Hailee Steinfeld.)

Pros

aside from making my fiancee happy by having 2 Michael B Jordans in the same movie. Jordan i wont admit he's flawless in it but the fact he can play 2 brothers and keep their mannerisms separate without overlapping is brilliant

Heel Hailee Steinfeld where the blue hell have you been all my life. please please be the villain more often i loved her so much in this

the rest of the cast noone put a foot wrong all movie Delroy Lindo, Omar Miller Jack O'Connell Wunmi Mosaku just brilliant.

right anyone who says its not like From Dusk to Dawn is suffering from Bullshitonitis. why is it familiar half of the movie is setting up the location & the characters the other half is the supernatural element. aload of people are holed up in a building with forces wanting to get in & kill them. but i would like to ask Ryan Coogler why The Faculty is an inspiration cause i see nothing of it that reminds me of it.

the suspense is none existant in the first half then amped upto max in the last half.

the music OMFG the music is absolutely dare i say intoxicating as a man who loves music from that part of America i wasnt disappointed big thumbs up to Ludwig Goransson.

A horror movie must not spare on the blood here it does not.

the eyes of all the vampires are shit scary

as far as horror movies go all major rules are followed.

cons

it is abit too silly at times but that is a minor spot on the brilliance that is this movie

Verdict 1 of the best horrors ive seen in a very long time. Jordan is brilliant Steinfeld reminds me of how menacing she can be like she was in True Grit & the movie is worth watching just for the music. a future stand in the Film Registry

Multiple choice

Budget vs Box Office            $90–100m>$369m

Worth a watch?                     both for Horror & non horror fans

Does it have Repeatabiity?   Maybe

Sequel?                                  Probably in the works tbh

Podcast Movie Hall?             Dame

My Movie Hall?                      Dame/Registry     

My final Verdict?                    Brilliant

My review of Swiped

Plot

it tells the story of Whitney Wolfe Herd (Lily James) through her journey from young woman with a dream to becoming the founder and CEO of Bumble,

Pros

Lily James is like Jennifer Lawrence whatever the movie she makes it worth watching even if its total garbage.

Soundtrack from La Rue to the classic "Hello" from Martin Solveig to "Get Lucky" from Pharrell & Daft Punk.

the last half an hour is where the movie is best.

the first & last 25 is where we see Lily shine brightly & why she is a star.

the rest of the movie is hard hitting, unforgiving, which is meant to reflect the point of view of the situation & my god it is uncomfortable viewing but that is the point

Cons

i dont mind a based on a true story but this is no social network, the only reason id watch this again if i even did would be for Lily James.

the problem with based on a true story is there is no room for making a scene better or the dialogue better but they both suffer immensely.

its meant to be based on a true story but it follows the Michael jackson movie problem, there is an NDA involved so its all guess work.

This is just another different version of product placement. btw Where Whitney meets her husband in the movie is not where she met him in real life. Its basically plugging Bumble like War of the Worlds plugged Amazon air & i dont need product placement movies anymore then i need unnecessary movie sequels that had no need to be made.

Also everything in this movie is written to be in the movie. ive never been on Bumble not had to but is Bumble as friendly as the movie says it is or is it just an opposite equivalent of Tinder? that is the question i need answering & if anything this movie leaves me with more questions then answers?

Verdict,

Its ok but nothing i'd want to bother with even if Lily makes it worth watching

Multiple choice                      

Budget vs Box Office              Streaming

Worth a watch?                       Yes just because it's Lily James

Does it have Repeatability?    not even as part of a Lily James Marathon

Sequel?                                    Hope not

Podcast Movie Hall?               N/A

My Movie Hall?                      Shame

My final Verdict?                   Trial watch only

My review of Emilia Perez

Plot

erm erm erm can anyone help me cause im desperately trying to forget this

Pros

honestly there is no highlights, except Zoe Saldana is decent in the movie

Cons

so many but i'll limit it to

its shit,

everything is shit,

Its uncomfortable both writing & for songs

movie is so cringe its like a 50 year old dating an 18 year old.

I was ready to call it quits half way through,

The plot of the movie is abit head scratching.

there is more but i think the point is made

Me & Sam made a whole new section in the movie hall because it is that bad

Verdict

being tortured by the CIA would be more entertaining then watching this shambolic laughable piss taking vomiting my lungs out piece of shit movie.

multiple choice

Budget vs Box Office            $25-26m>$15.8m

Worth a watch?                     I only finished it cause i had to not because i wanted to

Does it have Repeatability?  Only if you want to be tortured

Sequel?                                  I Fucking hope not

Podcast Movie Hall?             Incinerator

My Movie Hall?                     Incinerator       

My final Verdict?                   What's worse then colossally bad?

My Review of Crime 101

Plot

Current day Los Angeles Mike Davis (a sharp suited Chris Hemsworth) is a jewel thief who carefully plans his robberies without violence & doesnt leave any DNA or anything that can be traced back to him. while always escaping via route 101 (hence the 101 in the title.) his next & final target is $11m in cash & diamonds. which he will be helped by broken high end insurance broker Sharon (Halle Berry) who wants a $3m share for helping. Only problems, Mike will have to avoid capture by LAPD Detective Lou Lubesnick (Mark Ruffalo) & a rival thief who is a volatile young biker Ormon (Barry Keoghan)

pros

All the main stars are brilliant a going against type Chris Hemsworth, a helpful Mark Ruffalo & an Halle Berry who is broken. not forgetting a more psycho then Duke Shelby Barry Keoghan.

music is pretty decent just non stop tension & dread.

chases are ok when there are any.

cons

it is a severe slow burn for a movie like this. Gone in 60 seconds was 1 hour 45 and it had room for everything chases, romance, action this kinda feels like it couldve been over in 3/4s of that 2 hours 15.

writing isnt great but then again what movie is

Monica Barbaro's Maya feels like eye candy to fill a portion of the movie and holds no real substance. i do like Monica but i feel for her like i did for Rebecca Hall in Iron Man 3. great talent stuck with a wasted character.

for a crime caper there is only about 4 in the entire movie.

not enough chases.

too many things like why, just for example Chris is meticulous but when a guy shoots his window out and possible DNA to go with it. He covers it and leaves it instead of burning it and its not as if he doesnt have money to replace it.

Nick Nolte is meant to be the head honcho, the guy who does the deals but where is he after the first hour?

verdict

i do like this movie but the problem is its too long, not enough thieving parts in it, not enough action, not enough this not enough that its just a movie that should be enough but its just not enough. but watch it once for definite.

.

Multiple choice            

Budget vs Box Office            $90m>$71.9m

Worth a watch?                      Just once so you can see how disappointing it is

Does it have Repeatability?   Nope unless you're a sucker for punishment

Sequel?                                   I pray to the lord not

Podcast Movie Hall?              N/A

My Movie Hall?                       Lame     

My final Verdict?                    okish

My review of The Ministry of Ungentlemenly Warfare Starring Henry Cavill, Eiza Gonzalez, Alan Ritchson & Henry Golding

Plot

British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and a group of military officials hatch a daring plan with a group of individuals lead by Gustavus Henry March-Phillipps aka Gus (Henry Cavill) to neutralize Hitler's Atlantic blockade of German U-boats in Africa during World War II which will allow the US to join the war in Europe.

Pros

Its based on the real life operation postmaster which changed WW2.

Has the creme of british talent Henry Cavill, Alex Pettyfer, Cary Elwes, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Henry Golding, Rory Kinnear, Freddie Fox & Danny Sapani.

The introduction in the Atlantic ocean is brilliant comedically and action times to perfection.

Eiza Gonzalez's english accent i think is brilliant.

Action is good, abit light for a Guy Ritchie movie. Who was heavily involved in the movie.

Comedy is just gold,

Action with COD WW2 guns arent bad.

Music isnt bad although can someone tell Henry he's having too much fun in La Palma.

And yes someones nipples are attached to a car battery.

The introduction from Henry's Gus March-Phillipps about each of his team Is brilliant for example. "if we're going to try and sink a large ship we'll need Freddy "The Buzz" Frogman. He can swim across the channel with his feet tied together. admittedly he's a convicted arsonist and a terrible misery unless he's destroying something. But he's very good at blowing things up."

There is always dread & unforeseen circumstances which makes the movie better.

the rescuing of OE saboteur Geoffrey Appleyard from La Palma is quite funny & it also demonstrates what the characters are like how ingenius they are & how violent they are

the combat isnt bad

cons

The the middle is abit boring if there isnt any action which there isnt enough of.

Im not going to comment about whether its historically accurate or not thats what experts are for.

The Fernando Po scenes although crucial are abit meh.

Verdict

This won our surprising movie of 2024 and i gave it this intro "Ministry of ungentlemanly warfare you mix a Swedish (forgetting he was Danish) Jack Reacher and a posh Superman and you get a fun action movie that everytime I think of it I can't stop checking my nipples to see if a car battery is attached to it?" yes thats in the movie as well. it wont win awards but it will win your heart

Multiple choice

Budget vs Box Office           $60m>$29.7m

Worth a watch?                     Yes

Does it have Repeatability?   Yep, ive watched it many times.

Sequel?                                   I hope so

Podcast Movie Hall?              N/A

My Movie Hall?                      Dame     

My final Verdict?                    Interesting

My review of Borderlands starring Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, Cate Blanchett & Jack Black

Pros?

The only good thing is the music involved Motorhead's Ace of Spades, Muse's Supermassive black hole & The Black Keys's Shine a Little Light.

i do know there's cons and we start with

The all star cast of Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Ariana Greenblatt, Jamie Lee Curtis & Jack Black and Eli Roth as director.

Well in the first 20 minutes ive had a weird someone who looks like Kevin Hart but not making jokes, an annoying robot that sounds like someone who should be Jack Black but isnt.

Ariana Greenblatt quickly making me forget that she was in infinity War & Ahsoka.

Cate Blanchett plays Lilith like her dad owns the movie and she can act anyway she wants so shoot anyone she wants waste all the ammo she wants and just act like she'd rather be anywhere else etc etc,

Janina Gavankar is just wasted here id rather watch her in Far Cry 4 Horizon Zero Dawn or Star Wars Battlefront 2.

if Halloween or True Lies was the high points of JLC's career, then this is whats known as career ending.

Florian Munteanu acts like someone punched him in the head too many times on those Creed movies.

The dialogue isnt what youd called a hoot.

The action feels like noone is even putting an effort in performances are over the top.

The games are rated R which is what the gamer base is used to. this is PG-13 so you have a huge discrepancy there thanks to some shitheads grand idea.

& the worst part. Craig Mazin you know the guy who wrote the tv series Chernobyl you know 1 of the most successful tv series of all time & co created The Last of Us you know the tv series that Alex Garland once said "Is on another level." well he wrote the original screenplay which was rewrtten 3 times. YOU REWRITE THE SCRIPT THAT CRAIG MAZIN WROTE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. then understandably he distanced himself from the project. which i dont blame him.

its unoriginal if i want someone to throw bombs everywhere id ask for the green or hobgoblin from spiderman

im not gonna comment on the accuracy of all the costumes and clothes cause you need someone who has played the games but if everything else has anything to go by then assume its all wrong.

btw dont let the trailer deceive you

And a moment of reflection big shame on me for picking this for 1 of my movie choices for 2024 but how was i to know it wasnt it was the exact opposite of what it should be and Arnold forgive me but id watch the Total Recall reboot at least that had 4 things going for it this barely has one so my advice avoid it like everyone avoided Super Mario Bros in the 1990s and dislike it on Amazon so you'll never have to be reminded what an abomination it is.  S

Verdict

So in the trailer it plays ELO's Do Ya. so it goes Do Ya Do Ya want my love but it will never have my love cause if the things they did wrong so congratulations Lionsgate you fucked up There is so much wrong with this movie ive got so many words rushing into my head i cant get them all out and they're all in the same vicinity as Shit crap useless hopeless garbage you get the picture

Multiple choice

Budget vs Box Office             $110-$120m

Worth a watch?                       Fuck No

Does it have Repeatabiity?    If you like watching Paint dry.

Sequel?                                   If someone had no sense but no

Podcast Movie Hall?              Incinerator (i picked it for the movie challenge so i can.)

My Movie Hall?                       Incinerator       

My final Verdict?                    I'd rather own a Morgan then watch this again.